What's Mine is Yours

What's mine is yours, and what’s yours is also mine - like icebergs we connect and meet in the unconscious depths beneath the waterline. There is a beautiful word in South Africa “Ubuntu” that means: 'I am what I am because of who we all are.”

Often the first time people experience representing in a constellation, they are moved and amazed by how so much specific and detailed information about the client is available to us; something secret that was buried in a family comes to the surface; a long-lost grandparent holds information that seems relevant to the here and now world of the client’s.

Time and time again it's been my experience that the human condition is not as personal and unique as we might think. Like the iceberg that appears like a lone island floating in the sea but is in fact connected deep under the sea to its neighbour, or the shaman who stands in front of the village and says “I am river”, and she speaks on behalf of the spirit of river. We often witness a representative standing in the space of someone's family member and their body language, voice and phraseology mirror exactly that person.

For me one of the huge benefits of working with whole-systems with constellations is that whilst it allows the client to glimpse deeply into their personal and family systems, at the same time it allows representatives to resonate with issues that touch their own lives.

I am not going to attempt to explain how this phenomenon happens, except to say that it is my belief that we are energetic as well as physical beings. In the realms of our energetic relationships we have the capacity to feel into the human condition and into each other's worlds. I like Rupert Sheldrake’s explanation of Morphic Resonance, and there are many other explanations, for example the role of archetypes in the human psyche.

I was taught facilitation of constellations at one point by Albrecht Marr who said to our group with a loving smile: “don't think you're so special, there are only so many ways to suffer as a human being!”.

Ultimately what touches me in this work is that in stepping into another's world in a constellation, we too are touched by the human condition: what is mine is also yours. And what is wonderful is that this doesn't detract from the incredible diversity and uniqueness of each individual story, which I honour. For me it re-balances a predominantly Western perspective that over-emphasises the individual over the collective.

So if you're feeling a little shy about trying out constellations in a group workshop setting, I encourage you to reflect on the possibility that your personal story at some level will be likely to resonate for the people that will ‘represent’ for you. Somewhere in the unconscious depths of our humanity, like icebergs floating in the sea, we commune and understand.

Want to find out more…?

If you’re interested in coming to a workshop check out the upcoming ‘Landscapes of Change’ - Retreat Series, or if you’re new to constellations, take a look at my previous blog explaining the background to constellations, and how I work with clients in workshops.

If you want to discuss the possibility of organising a workshop with Marcos or if you’d just like to have an informal chat, please feel free to get in touch.